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» [IP] A Textbook Self-Destructive Spiral [INVITES]
Posted: May 1 2017, 08:40 PM
Phineas is Offline
Never before had the world been so clear to the darkness, never before had it seen and felt so much. Usually, it lay in wait, hiding in the dark recesses of Phineas’ mind, seeing everything through a tunnel. But now? Now the world felt real—present and pleasant—and if staying here meant playing along with the pair of worries that had found it, so be it. It could pretend to be Phin. It had been watching ever since the man ‘died’. It was practically as much the real Officer Bennett as the consciousness it had pushed down was.
It had been so close to freedom, so many times since its creation, but always, always something got in the way. The officer must have had a death wish with how many times they had danced this dance, and yet, every time...every fucking time the wraith won. Maybe it was strength of character, maybe it was just luck, but whatever it was had finally run out. Now it was the shade's turn. Now it was the one who got to hold on while Phin shriveled in the emptiness.
“I’m fine really...but if you insist.” It tried to smile, whether it succeeded or not it wasn’t sure—it would have to practice in front of the mirror later—and clapped a hand on Vince’s shoulder. The man reeked of werewolf, and in a fight could prove quite an opponent; it was better to stay on his good side. It wasn’t as if the hospital would find anything, anyway. Outwardly, the shadow was as much Phin as Phin was. Short of a brain scan, which was unlikely, it didn’t think a doctor could prove something was wrong.
Wraiths were already anomalies to begin with.
It turned to Rose with what it hoped was another smile, a softer one, maybe, “I’m sorry...I am. I don’t know what got into me. If I go, do you think you could forgive me?” The darkness was trying for sincerity, for honesty, as much as it could. It knew the woman was important to Phineas, and while it might be better to push her away for fear of her knowing the real wraith too well, doing so too fast might have the opposite effect. If he was too out of character, she would know something was wrong and dig deeper. Could she feel the lies he was telling? Could she sense Phin struggling in the shadows of his own mind? Screaming into the void; now he was the whispers, now he was the darkness.
How does it feel to be nothing, Phineas?
Because I could not stop for death,
he kindly stopped for me.
Posted: Jun 2 2017, 10:14 PM
ROSE is Offline
your eyes, i'm breaking. run fast
Rose was still so, so very new when it came to the world of the supernatural, yet ironically enough had been born into it twenty odd years ago. It was almost unheard of to have gone your entire life being something supernatural, yet never knowing you were as extraordinary as Rose was slowly learning she was.
Some things - like the warm thrills of comfort she received when sitting near lamps - had never struck her as odd. Finding comfort in light or the white noise that her laptop made seemed more than normal. It was a little concerning that everything she had ever owned that held a battery life - like her laptop, her cell phone, toys back when she was a child - had been faulty. Anything with a battery life seemed to die out quicker than normal, but Rose had always chalked that up to mere bad luck.
As it turns out, that was part of who - what - she truly was. Thriving on the energy around her and finding comfort when near energy sources. Sucking up any bit of energy she could find without even knowing it was something she was capable of... If it hadn't been for her and Sera ending up in the same place at the same time... well, Rose would still be blissfully naive.
There were still so many aspects to being an elemental that Rose wasn't in full understanding of; it would take more time practising and exploring her origins to get a grasp on just what it meant to be an elemental. She was both comfortable and confident with that - and with the progress she had already made with the help of her sister - and already knew never to turn a blind eye to something that felt... off.
As Vince offered her his hand to help her back up, Rose's blue eyes glanced to the kind gesture with a moment's hesitation. He was one of the few that knew enough to know better than to invade Rose's personal space without warning - something she could appreciate more than anyone knew - but there were always internal struggles when it came to things she wasn't entirely familiar with, even if it was something as seemingly simple as physical contact with someone she hadn't ventured down that road with.
It had taken her quite a bit of time to build herself up to so much as sit on the same piece of furniture as her own sister, let alone hug her... Hell, even with Phin she had been a stumbling, fumbling, stammering mess when it came to the first time they had held hands or the first time they had shared a kiss. Both he and Sera had been patient and understanding and Rose liked to think that she had come a long way.
Offering the faintest of grateful smiles, Rose accepted his hand as she used it to steady herself back up onto her feet. A year ago, Vince wouldn't have seen that same reaction which just further proved to the blonde that she was slowly getting there.
It was in their favour that Vince was willing to sign off on Phin's absence; that would be one less question that Rose wouldn't have answers to should anyone bring it up later. It was obvious that he had dealt with a lot of situations before; he always had an authority about him that she envied. Where she was so meek and complaisant, it was hard not to wish she was able to be as loud and assertive as beings like Vince and Sera often were.
That would have been where her mind would have naturally gravitated had it not been for that static feeling in the air around her. The back of her neck tingled as it often did when she could feel someone watching her. That same tingle that sent chills down her spine as if to let her know that something was amiss. It felt as though everything were on a new frequency, but not by much. Just enough to have the sound slightly obscured by white noise.
Her blue eyes were on Phin, watching the way he moved, spoke, smiled... It all seemed as familiar as it could be; she had had him memorized for what felt like forever, after all... yet it all felt off. As if each movement he made was more calculated than easygoing. As if his words were more eager to please than they were honest. As if his smile wasn't quite reaching the same place on his face it usually reached...
Then again, had she ever heard an honest word come from the man standing before her? It was natural to question everything after learning that the man you loved had kept a world-shattering secret from you for however long.
"There's no 'if I go', because if you don't? There's going to be hell to pay..." Her words were soft and almost whispered with the ring of a threat lying somewhere in them. What the threat was, even Rose had yet to determine that, but she, unlike he, hadn't ever chosen to be dishonest. If following through meant pushing this issue past those involved and into the hands of less understanding co-workers, that's what it would come to.
Phin asking if she could possibly forgive him as though sweeping this under the rug professionally would do so for them personally was a bit harder for her to hear.
"Are you serious right now?" Likely not; he had just taken Vertigo, so it was quite likely that he wasn't even at all in his right mind, despite sounding as though he very well could have been. "I thought you were sleeping with someone else for months, Phin!" Though there was anger in her tone, her words were just as quiet and equally as whispered as they had been. The last thing that Rose wanted was to alert someone to something taking place in the stairwell, after all.
"I should probably be relieved to find out that that's not the case, but I almost wish it had been because at least then I would have known you haven't been poisoning yourself and putting yourself in danger for God only knows how long..." Knowing that he had purposely put himself at risk was a feeling she hadn't ever expected to have to feel, at least not when it came to something like drug use. "So maybe focus a little less on forgiveness and a little more on getting some help; this place isn't' going to tolerate you popping pills in the stairwell; unless you need one of us to grab anything of yours from your office, we should just get you out of here..."
Posted: Jul 5 2017, 11:31 PM
Vince is Offline
The crisis passed (well, the life-or-death one), Vince recognized that him hanging out within earshot was something akin to a parent hovering within arm’s reach while their child has their first teenage breakup. Wordlessly—so as to not interrupt an exchange of anger, relief, resentment, and love-driven pain that had to happen sooner or later—he gestured towards the other end of the hall and moved away, eyes averted.
It was more symbolic than anything. His ears could pick up the fiercely-hissed conversation whether he liked it or not, but that didn’t mean he had to pay attention to it. And he didn’t. Just as a matter of respect.
Once upon a time, the scarred werewolf hovering right now on the edges of someone else’s heartache had been his own source of personal tragedy as well. He and Norah had never really discussed those dark days, not as he thought of them, perhaps because life hadn’t given them breathing room to even consider it until now. Why reopen old wounds when time had healed them, or at least covered them with new, but weakened, flesh? But it was the knowledge of the poison he’d spat at his own daughter, and the blades he sunk into his wife’s back, that motivated him to care so much now.
Anyone who’s ever sought solace at the bottom of a bottle, be it liquor, pills, or something more exotic, is familiar with the fact that the only thing left after all the medicine’s gone is you. You, dried out and husked up. You, the monster. You, the failure, the wanton, the lonely. That’s what perpetuates the cycle, after all: there is no permanency in these methods, only brief reprieves. You were trying to get away from you in the first place—nightmares, fears, judgments, questions—but the only true abandonment is death. Unless you give up your right to living, there’s no escape.
What’s worse is that death just passes the buck, too.
Vince didn’t have it in him to judge Phin, because there wasn’t a whole lot in this world he hadn’t done himself, or worse than. Maybe that made him wise, or maybe it just made him an example, but he found it easier to cast a glance the younger man’s way than most might because of his own history, despite the fact that, technically, Vince had just been somewhat betrayed, too. After all, Vince had vouched for Phineas, had asked him to be on the team despite how little everyone knew about him. Because Vince understood. He knew what it was like to stare the void in the face, and turn back. Those demons were old friends, after all, and they loved to pass their famine of the soul like an infectious disease from hand to hand.
He better check on the rest of the group. See how everyone else was holding up. Though their little tactical team had seen a great deal of success since their conception, the job could still get to you. Wear and tear was a thing even the most normal of vocations, and any sort of emergency responder already experienced that a hundred times worse. These were all his friends and family. He knew them, or at least believed he did, but it could never, ever hurt actually, and physically, check in. He should have done that before, but it was too late for Phin now.
Pivoting slightly towards the pair, Vince folded his arms across his chest and spoke in a low voice to them, but not before casting a glance at the various exits to make sure no one else was coming. “You guys should probably get going. I’ll handle everything here. Rose? Can I talk to you for a moment?”
The werewolf hadn’t re-approached the couple on purpose, wanting Rose to come to him rather than the alternative where Phineas might overhear. He held up a protective arm that hovered near, but did not touch the woman, and leaned in just close enough for a justifiable whisper. “You want backup on this? I can come with you, or call some family who’ve dealt with this kind of thing before. Or call yours. If not, that’s fine, too. Just figured I’d ask. You don’t have to do this alone if you don’t want to.”
And it hurts having someone take care of you
no matter how many breaths that you took, you still couldn't breathe
would you kill to save a life?
Posted: Sep 19 2017, 07:43 PM
Phineas is Offline
The shade raised its hands in surrender at Rose’s anger, her betrayal; pale fingers were once again trembling slightly. While the stairwell’s lighting had been enough to revive the body, it’s system was still being flooded with the drug that had brought it down in the first place. Vertigo seemed to have little effect on the darkness; the disorientation and pain were far removed from where it dwelled. Now that it was in control, Vertigo—or any substance, really—could hardly be considered a threat. It would effect the flesh but not the mind...or at least not the mind that was in control. “Rose...you have every right to hate me, I hate me right now...but, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” It wore sincerity like a new coat, useful but far from broken in or familiar.
The werewolf, Vincent, had stepped away, giving the illusion of privacy. Among monsters like them, there was no secrecy in close quarters...but the effort was surely appreciated, or something. “All it takes is one slip with a drug like this, I honestly don’t even remember how it started. I just...I wake up with missing time.” A pause, where the body looked away, a moment to compose itself for those watching. “I wanted to tell you. I wish I had. Hindsight is 20/20...ya know? I’m...I’m not trying to make light of this, I know I have a long road ahead of me. I just hope...you’ll be there with me?”
It was a risky move, trying to win the girlfriend over with such a plea...but what better way to drive her off for good than bring her to her wits end during a rocky recovery. Make her believe she had done all she could do, allow her to leave in good conscience even as Phin turned into someone she could hardly recognize. With a soft grunt, the shade listed to the side, letting its eyes go unfocused as if its previous coherence had come at a price. “I...I don’t need anything.” Mumbled words were an attempt to sell the act as the darkness slumped Phineas’s body further against the wall.
Once the pair stepped away, it closed its eyes. Seemingly propped up and resting even as it focused to listen to the whispers. Wraith’s had excellent hearing, and the body, while incapacitated, still possessed its senses on the whole. The detective’s concern was sweet really, but ultimately detrimental to continued control over Phineas; More people involved meant more people to try to fool or push away. “An LOA.” It slurred, swinging the body’s head toward the pair, “Can I put in an LOA, Vince? Until I get my head on straight?”
All it needed was a little time to cement its place.
Because I could not stop for death,
he kindly stopped for me.
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