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» [IP] Human beings are destined to radiate or drain [OPEN]
ROBERT DUNN
 Posted: Mar 5 2017, 07:48 PM
Quote
WEREWOLF (COTM)
TWENTY-ONE
CARPENTER
ROBERT is Offline


between
the devil and the danger
Growing up alongside four other siblings of the same age had allowed for a great many personalities to develop among the group; Sean had always been the comedian and Claire had been the brave heart that longed to lead them. Zach had been soft and caring, wanting to take the pain of those around him and Brianna had been quiet, but so damn intelligent while Robert had wanted nothing more than to be the one to protect them all.

Other siblings joined their diverse little group: Laila was that little ray of sunshine that they had all needed; she was the lightness in their dark family history and the triplets... well, they had yet to truly form solid personalities but already their own unique little traits were starting to peek through their infantile habits. It was amazing just how quickly time passed and just how quickly such a tiny being became a person.

It was also astounding just how quickly someone could lose themselves. Sean was still the first person to make you laugh, but sometimes he had a hard time finding reason to smile, himself. Claire was still as brave as ever, but she now had fears of her own that had her hesitating every now and again. Zach found himself terrified of letting people get close enough for him to show kindness to and Brianna was using her intelligence for all the wrong reasons to acquire all the wrong things for herself.

Robert liked to think that he was still protective of the ones he cared the most about, but at the end of the day, had he ever truly prevented anything from happening to his family? He had chosen to live in solitude which prevented him from being physically present when his help was needed. He had chosen to close himself off to his family which made supporting them impossible; who wanted to keep the recluse updated on life's occurrences when he'd find a way out of the conversation or a reason to decline any invitation to partake in any family activity, even those as seemingly simple as a Thanksgiving dinner?

It would have been too easy for him to reach out and find just one person he could confide in. He had seen his siblings - Claire, for the most part - endure the cruel hands and the harsh words of their biological mother, Fiona. Robert had walked away unscathed, dragging behind him nothing more than a nickname his mother had cursed him with. Robby. He could taste bile in the back of his throat every time he heard her repeating it in his mind.

There was no denying just how hard it had been for Fiona's five children to endure that abuse and to witness that abuse being inflicted onto each other. It was nothing short of traumatizing, much as knowing your father had to take your mother's life to prevent her from ridding you of your own.

To wonder how things would have gone had she been able to get help; had she accepted it, had it actually worked the way it needed to... Don't get him wrong: Robert was so fucking happy that his father had found Trinity. She was more of a mother to them then they ever could have asked for, but to know their own mother was still out there somewhere... healthy, sane, living, breathing, loving them...

But she wasn't, and she hadn't loved them. Instead, she had broken them into jagged fragments of themselves and hoped they'd all be able to fit back together once the impact she had left on their lives dulled down enough for them to try to piece their lives back together. Claire worried one day she'd perhaps be affected by the same mental illnesses that had plagued their mother; there was reason for worry: mental illnesses were very well genetic, but Robert knew at this rate, his blonde-headed sister was likely safe. Otherwise, she'd be feeling the thrumming of that unease by now, much as Robert had been over the last couple of years.

It was strange; he had everything he had wanted by now. A home of his own, a job that paid the bills and the start of his own company. His name on every card he passed out, his name brought up in conversations when strangers and familiar faces discussed home renovations and recommended his company. It was strange because Robert had absolutely no idea what was worse, not knowing who he was and being completely happy with that, or becoming everything he had always wanted for himself, and feeling alone.

He went to bed alone. He woke up alone. Sometimes he went for walks... he worked until he was tired and then he returned home long enough to watch the wind playing with the trash that sometimes blew down his long, narrow dirt road before the cycle repeated itself. He was no longer good at the things he once loved: it was a struggle to find the energy to cook balanced meals and actually consume them. He fell asleep and awoke, but the hours in-between were spent tossing and turning, dreaming and waking up in a sweat only to pace around his cold, quiet house in the dark until he dared attempt rest again.

Sometimes it felt like the only reason he was breathing today was because a few years back when things had been at their worst, he hadn't known which wrist to cut.

Sometimes it felt like the only reason he was breathing today was because he could rely on the cold beer in his fridge and the outdated prescription pills in his bathroom cabinet.

It was difficult to come to terms with those realizations. Things weren't as bad as they had been in the beginning, but Robert had definitely opted out of every attempt to talk to someone about his struggles with his depression. He had seen what Justin had gone through, after all. Werewolves didn't take to medications like a human did; it was consumed and burned out of their system so damn fast that it almost felt like it hadn't been there at all. Was he really willing to set himself up with a blind hope that this could get better only to learn it never would?

Running a hand over his face in attempt to coax the obvious tiredness off his face, Robert's mind was looking for any way out of the situation he had purposely pushed himself into. A single 'I need to talk' phone call. A meeting place close to his home. A familiar face he knew he could trust... A good first step in the right direction, maybe, yet the parking lot was just across the way and the crowd at the farmer's market was growing as the minutes passed. He could easily make his way to his car undetected...

It was hard to coax his mind into aborting every attempt to narrow down his best escape routes. A deep breath in, a slow breath out... His hand found his face again; his index finger and his thumb closing tight around the bridge of his nose as he shook his head in disbelief.

Was it really going to be worth it to open up to someone about what he had been struggling this long with? Maybe, but it was also worth it to jump ship and close himself inside his house with a beer and dimmed lights where he didn't have to face everything he had been burying for the last two years. Where he didn't have to think about his mother's unmarked gravestone or the two little beings that Brianna had left with Sean and Claire that would one day wonder why their uncle Robert seemed to care about them about as much as Fiona did her own children...

And that wasn't a life he wanted for himself.

--------------------
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ZACH DUNN
 Posted: Mar 7 2017, 01:26 AM
Quote
WEREWOLF (COTM)
TWENTY ONE
RESEARCHER
ZACH is Offline














Zach wasn’t a very well known guy in the community. It was something that never bothered him, since that was his goal really. He was shy, nervous, and anxious when it came to new people. It was easier to just stick to himself and enjoy that life instead of trying make him face strangers. That was why he basically lived inside just his house and that alone. All his groceries were delivered, he knew how to cook for himself, and did all the chores around the house himself. Home was where he felt safe, and why would you ever leave the place you felt safe?

It was funny to see how different that was when it came to all his siblings. Claire and Sean lived together with eight other people in their home. Always the outgoing and excited ones, it fit that they would live together or close by. It was a good dynamic for all those who lived in the house. Laila lived with his dad and Trinity most of the time, helping care for his three new siblings who weren’t quite old enough yet to pick their own path. And Brianna…well who knew what Brianna was doing now.

Robert was the sibling that matched his life style more closely. Both of them preferred living alone, quiet and away from the social life of New Orleans. Robert owned his own company and worked, while Zach did freelance computer work, both being able to stay close to home while doing so.

If he was honest, he sometimes felt guilt from the way he lived his life. He wondered if he should come around more, be there physically more for his siblings. To help them when they needed a babysitter or just to make them dinner or something. He wondered if it was enough…if he needed to do more. To be more.

Because if there was one thing that he knew for sure about himself it was that Zach Dunn loved his family more than anything. In fact that was the one thing he wanted in the world. Was to make sure his family was happy, healthy and safe. They came above all else in his mind…and that’s where the worry set in. because he didn’t want to be a part of why they weren’t happy.

So he was starting to try more. It started with him having conversations online with strangers…or trying to at least. Most of the time it ended up with him rambling about nothing and then leaving as fast as he could before he could say anything else.

The problem was that, Zach was so scared when it came to people being in his life. He had seen what people like Fiona would do to others…to her own blood. If someone’s mother could hurt them so badly, emotionally and physically, how could you trust anyone else to come close to you? The one person supposed to love and care for you unconditionally, turns around and hates and abuses you, and you are supposed to live out life just letting other people have an opening to do the same?

And it wasn’t just him. Anyone that he let into his life could turn around and use it to hurt the people he loved, his family. Zach wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he the reason another person caused harm to his family. It was just easier and safer to keep to himself.

It wasn’t like he was unhappy with that either, most days. There was the occasional days when he was lonely, or he was upset, but that happened to anyone. For the most part, Zach liked living alone. He liked that he didn’t have to sleep if he didn’t want to, or could eat anything he wanted. He liked that if he was feeling down he could re-watch the office for the tenth time. And while he knew he could do all that stuff if he lived with others…sometimes you just needed that space.

Today though, Zach was outside of his home, for the first time in a long time he was outside his home, away from his siblings home.

When Robert had called him and said that he needed to talk, Zach didn’t hesitate or think before he said yes. He had got dressed in actual real clothes, instead of his usual sweatpants and sweater, triple checked that everything was off and the door was locked and made his way there in his truck.

It was easy enough to see Robert across the street from the farmers market, a frown crossing Zach’s face as he paused before moving closer where Robert would be able to sense him. It was the tension and expression on his older brother’s face that had Zach frowning. A worried sensation fluttering in his chest, that had him moving across to where his brother was, before Robert could think himself into going away.

He took a seat next to his brother, looking out across at the people at the market. He stayed quiet, nothing new for Zach who didn’t talk much in person in the first place. The real reason for the quiet though was to give his brother time to prepare himself, to calm himself and to not push him into anything he wasn’t ready for.

Zach watched all the people moving about the market, glad he wasn’t among them, for a few more minutes. His gaze then turned to the brother that he was sitting next to him ” It’s nice here with you.” the words were soft and murmured but he knew Robert would hear him clearly. “What’s going on?”




--------------------
Who I am hates who I've been
And I talk to absolutely no one. Couldn't keep to myself enough. And the things bottled inside have finally begun to create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up. And I heard the reverberating footsteps, sinking up to the beating of my heart,and I was positive that unless I got myself together, I would watch me fall apart.And I can't let that happen again ‘cause then you'll see my heart. In the saddest state it's ever been. And this is no place to try and live my life. I'm sorry for the person I became. I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change. I'm ready to try never become that way again
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ROBERT DUNN
 Posted: Mar 12 2017, 01:20 PM
Quote
WEREWOLF (COTM)
TWENTY-ONE
CARPENTER
ROBERT is Offline


between
the devil and the danger
Robert couldn't' deny that there had been a small part of him that hadn't at all expected his brother Zach to show up; Zach, at the end of the day, wasn't much better at leaving the house than Robert, himself, was. Both had chosen to close themselves off from the world to deal with the traumas that they had been forced to endure at the hands of their mother, and while there wasn't really anything wrong with that, it wasn't the way their family typically handled things.

Well, maybe their father Ben chose to do just that; maybe that's where they got it from... but the rest of their siblings? Claire had chosen to be strong and face everything head-on. Sean had chosen to explore the world and learn of its beauties rather than let their mother's ugly behaviour ruin the way he saw things. Brianna was quiet, sure, but she had been socializing and making good choices before she had blown all that to hell...

So many closing themselves off wasn't the worst way to cope when they currently had a sibling that was using, abusing and manipulating every single fucking thing in her life just to get through the days.

Still, despite all the anxieties, nervousness' and tensions he felt, sensing Zach approaching slowly began to ease all of them. It might have been wiser to perhaps not have picked such a public, crowded place... but it was closest to his home and he knew he wouldn't have so much as made it into the city without turning around and heading right back home had he chosen anywhere else...

As Zach took a seat across from him, a silence lingered, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Robert didn't think there were two siblings in their family that understood each other as much as he and Zach knew each other; there didn't have to always be a conversation lingering between them for them to feel comfortable and at ease.

Even with the silence broken, there wasn't a need to push out of their comfort zones to start nor continue it. Zach kept things as easygoing as Robert often needed, because Zach - like Robert - needed that, too.

"I'm glad you could come..." Because Robert knew better than anyone just how fucking hard it was to leave the house somedays, especially during the darker days he, himself, experienced. When everything felt like it was closing in on you and the safest place to be was in the familiarity of your own home so you could let it consume you and hope it passed quicker this time around...

As his brother asked him what was going on, Robert knew he could beat around the bush. Talk about work, his week, his day... Zach would happily listen, he was sure of that much... but both men knew there was a true reason why he had told his brother to meet him and prolonging filling in those blanks just gave Robert more of a chance to talk himself out of actually having this conversation.

"I wanted to talk to you. Well, to someone and I thought you'd be the best person." He wasn't all that great at communication; he took after their father in that sense, but hew as trying, and wasn't that what mattered at the end of the day? "About things I've been thinking about. Things I've been feeling... I know Claire's always worried that she's going to be the one to travel down Fiona's path and become certifiably crazy, but I think that baton was genetically passed on to me, instead..."

It was obvious just how uncomfortable he was with the topic at hand; he had never been good at talking about himself, let alone discussing his own shortcomings. His eyes couldn't keep contact with his brother's and instead glanced around in an attempt to focus anywhere but on Zach. His hands clenched into fists beneath the table and relaxed, a cycle that repeated itself through his discomfort. But still, he was trying.

--------------------
fix yourself; you're making me insane
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ZACH DUNN
 Posted: Mar 24 2017, 05:59 PM
Quote
WEREWOLF (COTM)
TWENTY ONE
RESEARCHER
ZACH is Offline














Zach watched his brother carefully while he began to talk, his gaze roaming over his face and body language as a tenseness started to fill him once again. A slightly worried look coming across his face as Robert started to get to the get to the real reason for him being there today. It wasn’t that he was worried they were going to have this conversation, but the worry about how long his “older” brother had been having these feelings and keeping inside.

He couldn’t imagine what it must feel like for his brother to have all this whirling up inside him. To be comparing himself to Fiona, who they all knew and felt exactly what she was like. Claire felt the same, worried that she would become just like Fiona had been. While Zach didn’t think that any of his siblings would ever become the person that Fiona had turned into, he understood the fear of it. Who wouldn’t fear that?

But no matter what Zach though personally, he also knew that mental illness was something that you didn’t just stumble upon. In most cases it was genetic. In one form or another it was more than likely that one of them would be effected by this. But he also knew that you could get help…that none of them was alone in this. And if Robert was feeling this way… then Zach was going to do everything he could to help him through it.

He knew that he wasn’t great at many things. He wasn’t adventurous and outgoing like Sean. Or strong and brave like Claire. He wasn’t good with his hands and creative like Robert. He wasn’t even as smart and savvy as Brianna used to be. He wasn’t good at talking or socializing with other people. Really he didn’t think there was much he was good at if you asked him.

But there were a few things that Zach knew he did really well at. He knew that he had inherited his dad’s ability to cook, even just a little. He knew that he was able to navigate and discover things on the internet faster than anyone else he knew. But most of all Zach knew that even though he wasn’t great at talking, he was great at listening to people.

He liked listening to people too. He liked being there for his family when they needed him to be, and he always would be. Because they were the most important thing in the world to him. He might not leave the house much, or be able to go to a social event without panicking. But the moment that his family needed him…he would always be there for them.

Reaching a hand out across the table to rest against his brother’s shoulder and give a gentle, comforting squeeze, Zach kept his gaze on him. He kept the hand there for a few moments before removing it, waiting till his brother had a chance to gather himself again. He knew this couldn’t be easy to talk about, and Zach wasn’t going to rush Robert into this. It was already amazing that he was talking about it at all. Zach didn’t know if he would be strong enough to do even that if it was him…

He watched carefully for the signs that his brother had relaxed even just little more after speaking before he spoke. ”Tell me about it.”, his voice was soft, but he knew that Robert would be able to hear him. He didn’t mind how much time it took before Robert actually spoke, Zach was willing to spend the whole day and night sitting there if it meant being there for him.



--------------------
Who I am hates who I've been
And I talk to absolutely no one. Couldn't keep to myself enough. And the things bottled inside have finally begun to create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up. And I heard the reverberating footsteps, sinking up to the beating of my heart,and I was positive that unless I got myself together, I would watch me fall apart.And I can't let that happen again ‘cause then you'll see my heart. In the saddest state it's ever been. And this is no place to try and live my life. I'm sorry for the person I became. I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change. I'm ready to try never become that way again
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ROBERT DUNN
 Posted: Jun 2 2017, 10:47 PM
Quote
WEREWOLF (COTM)
TWENTY-ONE
CARPENTER
ROBERT is Offline


between
the devil and the danger
There was no denying that the Dunn offspring all shared the same fear of ever becoming anything even remotely resembling the person that their biological mother had been. To willingly cause harm - physical harm - to the people you loved? The person you were married to, the children you had had with them.... It was a nauseating feeling to know you could very well be in possession of the very genes that had caused such a rampant psychosis in a parent you had once trusted to raise you and love you unconditionally.

Seeing Brianna spiralling as she had been more recently was just as worrying. If the most quiet and tame of the Dunn children could be affected so thoroughly by her genetics, who was to say the more rambunctious wouldn't be? Who was to say the more reclusive wouldn't be?

It was definitely hard to open up about this, especially given the fact that Robert hadn't ever really been able to pride himself on his communication skills. It was hard to open up about anything at all and even harder for him to thrust himself into social norms, be they within his family or otherwise. He knew deep down that any of his family members would have been equally as accepting of this conversation as Zach was - no one had ever truly shamed Robert for his reclusive ways outside of playful jokes - but it was Zach that could relate to Robert's unique situation the easiest.

"I know I'm not certifiably crazy..." There was a part of him that didn't think he'd ever be able to reach the point of no return as Fiona had; he had too many people in his life that loved him enough to see those telltale signs before they spun out of control. On top of that, Robert liked to believe that he was in control of himself enough to know when to ask for help. Wasn't that what he was doing right now?

"I don't think I'll ever reach the same level of psychotic that Fiona did, but I've still been struggling..." They all struggled in their own ways, after all, didn't they? Look at Brianna... Hell, even Claire had struggled with dependency issues - both with drugs, alcohol and men - and she was the strongest of them all as far as Robert was concerned. "I also know that whatever I've been feeling isn't even in the same realm of illness as she had, at least... I don't think..."

Truth be told, none of them had ever really been told what ailment Fiona had suffered from. Bipolar disorder was what she had claimed to be struggling with back when she had promised she was getting better, though everyone else suspected a severe case of psychosis.

"I've just... felt disconnected. Emotionless, sometimes... I guess after Vi cheated on me with Justin, I felt like I used up every emotion I could ever have." That wasn't to say that Vi nor Justin had triggered his depression - it didn't quite work that way - but sometimes he wondered if that had been what had tipped his scale into chaos.

Regardless, he knew it was a discussion he was going to have to have with Trinity at some point - at least he thought that was where all of this would end up going. She knew how to keep a werewolf medicated, and if medication was in his foreseeable figure... well, she was the person to go to...

For now? Well, for now he just needed to know if that was going to be the right choice...

--------------------
fix yourself; you're making me insane
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ZACH DUNN
 Posted: Jun 11 2017, 09:43 PM
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WEREWOLF (COTM)
TWENTY ONE
RESEARCHER
ZACH is Offline














Zach was the youngest of the five children born at the same time as him. He never had minded that though. He loved his brothers and sister (sisters but he refused to even think about Brianna in that sense right now), and he admired them more than anyone else in the world. Through the face of adversity and strife, his siblings had rose above it and worked hard to make lives for themselves.

Being in awe of them was an understatement. To Zach it felt like his brothers and sister build the very earth everyone walked on, though it was an extreme exaggeration. But they were his whole world, his family was his whole world. There was nothing that was more important then them...not even himself.

If it wasn't for them he was pretty sure he would of lost it and really become a hermit a long time ago. One of those people who moved into the middle the desert so no one ever came near. Because people...worried him. he didn't understand strangers and didn't trust them at all. Someone who was supposed to love them unconditionally had only wanted to hurt them. Why wouldn't strangers want to do the same?

Instead though his siblings were always there for him, living all on the same streets in the same neighborhood. The whole family was just a walk down the street away. Even though Zach didn't leave the house very often, it was nice to know that his family was all right there when needed.

Though most of their large family were sociable creatures, which means they didn't share the same love of staying at home at all times. Claire and Sean were always able to talk to people with such ease that didn't understand how. They were so open and at one with themselves, being able to talk about anything without worry. While Zach stuttered over every other word while trying to check out at a grocery store. The main reason he stopped going and got them delivered now.

But Robert was so much like Zach in many ways, that made them close. Even if he and Robert were in a silent room together without any talking, it was comfortable for them both. Both of them lived on their own, didn't socialize with people, and kept a private life.

Zach hurt for his brother though. Unlike Zach who had never been in any serious relationship, or even close to it, Robert had. And then he had been hurt so badly by the one person that was never supposed to hurt you...a person you loved. And yet again it was more evidence for Zach not to open up with anyone. If they could do that to Robert, who in Zach's eyes was one of the most loveable, caring, strong beings ever, what hope did he ever have?

He hated to think about what it must of felt like for Robert to go through that, and then the aftermath, when their own sister, Brianna couldn't care enough to protect him because she was too obsessed with her insane vampire boyfriend. His brother had needed her and she just ...hurt him more.

And Zach would never, ever hurt his brother.

Listening to what Robert was saying caused his chest to hurt in pain. He knew this couldn't be easy for his brother, to talk about something so difficult. Once again proving what Zach had felt all along...that Robert was so strong. Even when he didn't see it himself.

" I don't know much about it on a scientific scale, but...but I can tell you what I think...personally. And promise to try and help you through this. And everything that comes after this, no matter what. " Zach closed his eyes briefly gathering the words before taking a sigh and looking at his brother sincerely.

"You have been through hell, Robert. It may not of been physical, it may not seem like it to others, but to you, it was hell. And when you go through hell like that, hurt so badly, you don't come out whole." Zach looked down at the table under his fingers, staring at them for a little while to gather himself before continuing. " It leaves you torn up on the inside. And yeah that heals some, we get better, but not every wound will heal on its own."

Zach sighed once again , "I think you are on the right path though...to helping yourself. Because just...admitting to yourself, to anyone that you aren't okay...is better. I think talking to someone, about everything going on, and your feelings, and then looking to see a helping agent, would be good."

"Most importantly though...I think you should know that if you want to get better. If you want to get back connected, get those feelings, you gotta know it wont be easy. Some days you'll want to quit...some days you will think it's not worth it...somedays you might think you are all alone in this. " His eyes met his brothers again, seriously and full of promise "But you aren't going to be alone.Even on those days, where everything is hard, where everything seems like you are alone, you wont be. I promise you...I promise that you will have someone, you will have me,...multiple people there with you no matter how it feels."



--------------------
Who I am hates who I've been
And I talk to absolutely no one. Couldn't keep to myself enough. And the things bottled inside have finally begun to create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up. And I heard the reverberating footsteps, sinking up to the beating of my heart,and I was positive that unless I got myself together, I would watch me fall apart.And I can't let that happen again ‘cause then you'll see my heart. In the saddest state it's ever been. And this is no place to try and live my life. I'm sorry for the person I became. I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change. I'm ready to try never become that way again
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ROBERT DUNN
 Posted: Jul 14 2017, 11:11 PM
Quote
WEREWOLF (COTM)
TWENTY-ONE
CARPENTER
ROBERT is Offline


between
the devil and the danger
Going into this conversation, Robert knew that there was a very large chance that no one in his family - at least as far as his siblings were concerned - had ever felt what he was feeling. If they had, Robert liked to think that they were all open enough to discuss it or at least have it treated whereas he had tried hiding it for as long as he could physically, mentally and emotionally withstand.

Perhaps if he had found healthy ways to let out the emotions that he had kept bottled up for so damn long, he wouldn't have gotten to this place. Brianna was a prime example of someone in their position finding the wrong kind of distractions, so she was exempt from that thought process. Sean and Claire, however, had both found places of employment that they thrived and flourished in. They both had that home away from home where they could focus on work and not on the craziness in their home lives.

Robert had that now, but he had waited so damn long after everything with their mother and everything with Violetta that it hardly amounted to anything at all.

"Is it crazy that I don't want this to get out?" The last thing he wanted was for someone like Violetta or Justin to hear that he was this far gone. That he had never fully recovered from the wrongs that had been committed against him; they'd get too much of a good laugh out of it and neither, as far as Robert was concerned, deserved that.

On a similar note, he didn't want to become a news story. Their family was well known in these parts and the less fake pity he received from strangers was probably the best. "If Fiona were around, she'd see it as weakness. The perfect time to sneak in and fuck everything up for us again. I don't want someone to think this is the time to attack any of us, just because one of us is down."

He also didn't want exactly what Zach was saying to be what people associated him with. He didn't want people to know that some days were harder than others; that he felt alone or like life wasn't entirely worth living. He didn't want people to look at him with sad, heavy eyes and feel sorry for his struggles; he wanted to continue on exactly as life was... He just wanted to enjoy life as it was.

"I think, at the end of the day, the people that I want standing with me through all of this are you, Claire, Sean, Trinity and dad. Anyone else... not everyone needs to know; I think it'll be better that way." He refused to be a liability to his family; he refused to be another weight on their shoulders. "I'll tell them in my own time... It might not be right away, but it'll be soon. I'm going to meet with Trinity sometime this week; I'd appreciate it if you could be there with me?"

He knew it was a lot to ask, but he hoped that it showed his brother just how damn much he appreciated Zach travelling here just to listen to him vent about the things he had been keeping a secret for too damn long...

--------------------
fix yourself; you're making me insane
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ZACH DUNN
 Posted: Jul 30 2017, 12:04 AM
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WEREWOLF (COTM)
TWENTY ONE
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It was easy for Zach to agree with what Robert was saying. He could easily put himself in his brother's shoes and understand not wanting other people to know what was going on. Robert was already a private person even not factoring this in, but to have something so raw exposed to the world...no he couldn't imagine that happening and ending well.

Honestly...Zach didn't even know how Robert was doing what he was now. Because he knew, that if it was him...he wouldn't be able to do this, not without someone forcing him to. Hell, people had to force Zach to even talk to other people now just in a general sense...if there was an issue, Zach didn't know if he could talk to someone about it.

And that was terrifying. He always relied on his siblings, for everything. they were his friends, his playmates, his protectors. They kept him in line in full moons when he was out of control and wild. They sat with him no matter how quiet he was. they helped him through every big life decision. but...he was afraid when it came to real issues and problems he was weak, where they were strong. When it came to helping , he was always there...but if it was an issue of his own...he didn't know how he would handle it.

Zach shook his head slowly "you aren't crazy for wanting to stay quiet about this... in fact...I'd be worried if you wanted to announce it to everyone" That would be completely against what was usually his brother's style. And in the long run it would be so much better for Robert in the end to only be open to the people he felt comfortable with.

The werewolf let out an involuntary flinch when he thought about what Fiona would of done if she was around to find out about this. There would be no doubt she would use it to twist and pull...to push Robert till he couldn't be pushed anymore and broke. And then she would use that against the rest of them, while seeing nothing wrong with her actions. She would tear them apart just because she could.

Fiona was the reason that Zach never wanted to reach out or even attempt to start to make a life for himself. There were other people out there in the world that were bound to be just like her. And on top of that his family was famous, meaning many people would take any opportunity they got to get in close to hurt them. And Zach would rather be alone for the rest of his life then to put them at risk.

He watched his brother has he explained further on his wants. It was understandable to Zach that the only people who would know is the family, and only the people that Robert felt comfortable with. This was something serious and so it should be dealt with in the way that would make his brother feel the best about what he was doing.

"you can take your time telling them, Robert. It doesn't matter how much time it takes because it's whatever feels right to you. " He gave his brother a small reassuring smile " They will all understand and won't push you on why you didn't let them know sooner. And of course...."

Zach wasn't going to say no to his brother's request to be there with him. he would never leave Robert alone in this, not when his brother needed him. He would be there for him, for everything that he needed "Of course I will come with you and be right there by your side."



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Who I am hates who I've been
And I talk to absolutely no one. Couldn't keep to myself enough. And the things bottled inside have finally begun to create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up. And I heard the reverberating footsteps, sinking up to the beating of my heart,and I was positive that unless I got myself together, I would watch me fall apart.And I can't let that happen again ‘cause then you'll see my heart. In the saddest state it's ever been. And this is no place to try and live my life. I'm sorry for the person I became. I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change. I'm ready to try never become that way again
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