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» [IP] What if one true love's the only one that you get? [INVITES]
KOL MIKAELSON
 Posted: Sep 15 2015, 09:30 PM
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VAMPIRE
Nineteen
Unemployed
Kol is Offline














Kol had been in a piss poor mood here lately, one that everyone could tell was something not to mess with. Not that anyone had to, since the Original didn't feel much like spilling his guts to anyone. Instead he locked himself away from the general public, and made harsh violent threats to anyone who dared to try and pull him from his sulking. The one person who had a chance of pulling him out of this , was the reason that he was sulking in the first place.

Though as much as he hated to admit it to himself, or anyone, this was his own fault. But damn it he didn't want to know it was his own fault. He wanted someone to blame, someone to yell at and curse. He wanted someone to blame this pain in his chest on that wasn't himself. Because he had been stabbed by his own brothers before...but this pain he felt was so much worse then that. A pain he had never experienced before in his life.

It had started with self reflection on his part , something that should of happened a long time ago, but he was a Mikaelson, and stubborn was in their name. He chose to ignore the feeling that he had for the girl he was dating, even though they had been there for a long time. And he would never say he was scared of it, but... he had never been in love before, and never thought he could love.

But he wasn't scared, so he planned it out, all of it. She said that he never took her on dates, well he planned it out to the very last detail. He set the dinner somewhere private , where it would be just them, all her favorite foods, did the whole romantic shebang. Because god damn it if he was going to confess his love for her , he was going to do it with style. He picked her up not telling her where they were going why, because she would see when they got there.

Everything was perfect. He was ready for the next step he was ready to tell her that he loved her. And then she would be so happy that he was finally able to say I love you that she would jump into his arms, before he cleaned off the table and laid her on it and well the rest was better left to Kol's own private thoughts.

Yet that didn't happen. He didn't get his I love you back. He didn't get happy tears of joy or jumping into his arms. Instead the answer she gave him had the cocky confident look on his face, that was so proud of him being able to say it to her, being wiped clean. It had started with her answer that the pain in his chest was nagging him. It only grew when he started to think why he would get that answer from her.

She had told him once ago that she loved him , and instead of answering her with the returned words, he had freaked and told her they were just messing around. He hadn't been ready to say the words back to her. Not ready to see in himself that deep.

And because of his own actions, the only person that he loved and wanted , no longer loved him. He had lost her because he hadn't been able to say the words. She just wanted to fool around with him now...she didn't want to love him or love him back.

She had said she needed time to think of things, which lead to her leaving to her apartment and him to his room in his family's home. It was funny how little of himself he saw in his room now. Everything there reminded him of her in one way or another. So much so , the first night he had thrown a tantrum and decided he was sleeping in the living room and damn anyone to stop him. Only to return to his room , missing the comfort that it brought to be surrounded by her.

He had tried Video games , movies, soccer, even music to wipe her away from his mind. But with every thing he tried memories just surfaced. How had she gotten into every bit of him? How could everything remind him of her?

Kol had , had enough at that point, grabbing his jacket and storming out of the house, letting the door slamming closed be his family's notice of him leaving. He was pissed, he was angry, how could she just invade his life like this, and make him feel these things? How could she do that and now not be here to love him back when he said it? How could he be so stupid not to tell her the first time?

Well the Original had decided to fuck this , he wasn't going to just sit around anymore damn it. He wasn't going to just let it hurt anymore, which is how a furious original vampire stood outside her newly made apartment seething. His fist pounding on the door loudly knowing she would be in there. not caring who knew he was there, he would stand there pounding at her door all night till she came out and listened.




--------------------
ARE YOU INSANE LIKE ME? BEEN IN PAIN LIKE ME?


Are you deranged like me? Are you strange like me? Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me? Pointing fingers cause you'll never take the blame like me?
PMAIM
^
DAVINA CLAIRE
 Posted: Mar 23 2016, 10:57 PM
Quote
TRI-BREED
SIXTEEN
WITCH REGENT
DAVINA is Offline


BUT SUDDENLY YOU'RE INTERESTED? MAYBE YOU'RE HERE BECAUSE YOU WANNA COME HOME, BUT WHAT IF YOU'RE JUST AFRAID TO BE ALONE? AND IT'S ONLY NOW YOU WANT ME.
Davina, inwardly, refused to admit that she was in a fully committed relationship simply because she knew that the moment she did, Kol would do something to fuck the entire thing up for the, what, fiftieth time now? That didn't really say much for the 'relationship' that both claimed to have with each other; he didn't trust anyone in the world and Davina didn't trust him after all the trials he had forced her through just for the two of them to end up where they now were.

He had hurt her in so many different ways... She had been happy in her teenage romance with Ben; he was the first boyfriend that she had ever had and the two had started out as best friends which is what every girl wanted... Kol had come along, seen the power that Davina had and decided that he wanted that for himself.

Davina wasn't like any other girl he had lulled over onto his side with his charm, though. She was always wanting more and while Kol could have given her every piece of himself, he had never done that with anyone before. That was why he would string her along; make her leave her boyfriend for him, only to run back to his ex-girlfriend, Brianna. He'd leave her when Davina tried to move on and drag her back to him again, only to push her away when things started getting too serious.

There was a boiling point when she had died; she wasn't gone long before she was brought back but that had pushed him away more than ever. Elijah had been the one to drag Kol both back to town and back to his senses and it had been since around there (more or less, anyway) that the two had decided on no more games. No big ones, anyway... No ex-girlfriends, no ex-boyfriends, none of that drama.

It was casual; she had jumped too quickly months ago into confessing her love for Kol and that had spooked him more than she scared to remember but he had ruined everything that they had struggled to maintain over these last few months with those three same words that he had clearly planned out so delicately with a nice dinner and everything that followed...

It almost felt like a slap in the face when he had spoken them, when he had told he that he loved her. She was angry, and rightfully so. For him to turn her down and cast her aside when she had confessed her feelings to him only for him to wait months confess his when they had made a deal to leave feelings out of it altogether this time around?! Of course she was angry!

He had waited to long and those emotions were gone now. She had been honest in telling him that; that everything between them - to her - was nothing more than casual. That was all that she had been planning for; that was all that she wanted.

She had left, angry and confused. She had told Kol that she needed some time and some space to think about things - to think about their relationship and whether or not she wanted to jump ship or continue keeping things casual.

That was why she was at her newly built apartment rather than at the compound that Marcel owned; she wasn't wanting people to ask how she was doing or what was wrong. She wasn't wanting to hear anyone elses voice or hear the noise that came with living with other people all while under the same roof. Yet it was the sound of someone pounding on her front door that had the brunette tri-breed raising a curious eyebrow. It wasn't someone knocking in a respectful fashion which had her believing whomever was on the other side of the door was experiencing some form of negative emotion or another.

As she stood to her feet, Kol's scent hit her like a brick wall and Davina couldn't help but scowl as she stormed across her apartment to whip the front door open. Her blue eyes locking on his almost as if questioning his sanity; she had said she wanted time and space, had she not?!

"What?! What do you want?!"

--------------------

they think i'm insane; my lover is strange
CAN'T GET ALONG WITH ANYONE; CAN'T MAKE THIS RIGHT.
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KOL MIKAELSON
 Posted: Apr 10 2016, 03:43 PM
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VAMPIRE
Nineteen
Unemployed
Kol is Offline














The moment her front door slammed open her gaze locking on his , hand still in the air mid knock ready to keep pounding on the door, was the moment Kol realized he had no idea what he was supposed to say to her. This had all started with his emotions, that anger and hurt that had brought him to her door pounding it down wanting an answer, only now he didn’t know the question to ask her. Or what answer he wanted to hear from her.

That wasn’t true. Kol knew the answer that he wanted to hear. It was the answer he wanted to hear when he said the three words he hadn’t ever spoken to another being. He wanted to hear those words back. For her to open her mouth and say that she loved him and that those feelings hadn’t just left her. Instead he got questioned what he wanted. Well it for sure wasn’t for that damn answer.

He didn’t know what to tell her, he didn’t know what to say. Where he had planned the dinner he practiced everything -embarrassingly enough- in his head. He had it prepared and ready to go. If he wouldn’t of thought about it before he came over here he would have already had the answer ready for her. IT would have been eloquent, perfect, and it would have been less terrifying then standing there not able to let the words come out. Instead of thinking he had let his emotions drive him to this point in time.

It was slightly, humorous, in a darker way that a man that was so shit at telling people his feelings let his emotions guide his actions so often. He knew that he was an emotional creature, he had outbursts, he had anger , and he also have moments of despair, and he let those fuel his life. Until it came to the moment that he had to tell someone how he felt about them, or most of them.

See when it came to telling someone he hated them, that was easy enough. He couldn’t care less about the people he hated, or if they knew he hated them. If it was distrust that was also easy enough for him to tell them, it didn’t matter if they knew he didn’t trust them. But when it came to love? That was when he faulted and fell flat on his face, emotionally stunted in that area.

It wasn’t that he didn’t love them, its hard to not to love people, as proven with how he felt for Davina. He had been betrayed too many times in his life, and that betrayal made it hard to keep his heart open to love. It had come from almost everyone, even his own family… the most his own family. Anytime he hadn’t conformed to their wishes , their wants, their standards he was stabbed and put away in a box for decades. If they couldn’t even stand him, or who he was, why should he trust anyone else to?

Yet with Davina he was ready to risk it all, it just had taken him time to get there. And now that time meant she no longer loved him. He couldn’t just accept that, couldn’t just say it’s okay that she didn’t love him. But he didn’t know how to change this, how to fix this so that she told him that she loved him again. That she always loved him.

The Original opened his mouth…but no words came out of his mouth in stead he turned a way with a noise of half anger and half distress and he ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at it slightly before releasing it and turning back to her in a hurry. He didn’t think he could make this any worse then it already was so he was just going to let it out.

” What do I want? Well there are plenty of things that I want. I want my brothers to stop being jackasses, I want play soccer with professionals, I want to find out who keeps stealing half of my clothes in my bloody room. There are plenty of things that I want.” Kol took steps closer to Davina , as close again as when she opened the door.

”But the thing is that none of that matters. None of that matters because I find myself fucking miserable without you. Because I bloody want you more than any of that.” He took another step closer to her practically stepping in her place now, just barely in the doorway between the two of them.

”I love you. I fucking love you, and you expect me to believe that those feelings….that love just left? That it’s just bloody gone?” Kol looked at her in the eyes , he was so angry and upset all at once but most of all he was desperate. ”I can’t believe that. I can’t believe that they just went away.”



--------------------
ARE YOU INSANE LIKE ME? BEEN IN PAIN LIKE ME?


Are you deranged like me? Are you strange like me? Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me? Pointing fingers cause you'll never take the blame like me?
PMAIM
^
DAVINA CLAIRE
 Posted: Jun 12 2016, 12:05 PM
Quote
TRI-BREED
SIXTEEN
WITCH REGENT
DAVINA is Offline


BUT SUDDENLY YOU'RE INTERESTED? MAYBE YOU'RE HERE BECAUSE YOU WANNA COME HOME, BUT WHAT IF YOU'RE JUST AFRAID TO BE ALONE? AND IT'S ONLY NOW YOU WANT ME.
Davina had dealt with a great many people in her short lifetime that had struck a nerve - or worked her last nerve - with an ease that bordered on infuriating. Kol Mikaelson had quickly become one of those few people that could get himself under Davina's skin so damn easily; no defence that she could offer ever seemed to fend him off in that sense.

She had been happy and quite taken with her first romance when he had forced himself into her world, demanding her undivided attention - anything less was unacceptable - and pushing boundaries that she had never intended to have anyone cross. She had absolutely no idea - at the time - why he had been so damn captivated by her existence, but in time she had learned that he, like every other Mikaelson she had come to know, had an agenda he preferred to keep hidden.

He, like everyone else, had wanted to use her in a thousand different ways and she had been oblivious to it because she had been too caught up in his more obvious charms. Figuring out that she was just a pawn he intended to play had been nearly devastating, but Davina had pulled herself together in time to admit she actually had feelings for the man that had nearly broken her to better his own selfish existence.

That hadn't gone the way she had hoped it would. If anything, Kol had pulled away all the more and had made sure that Davina understood the extent of their relationship: they were not in love. They were not going to have a happy ending; they were a relationship based solely on crushes and sexual tension and that? That was something that she had accepted because it was better to have a small part of him in her life rather than have him leave it - and her - altogether.

Needless to say, Davina had been thrown off when Kol had decided that tonight was the night to tell her that he had fallen in love with her, much as she had with him months ago, but because of his reservations and clarifications, she had had to train herself to see him as nothing but the guy she was sleeping with.

She didn't want to see him again that evening. Perhaps that was why she was even more furious that he dared follow her home and pound on her front door as if she owed him any explanation. Instead, Davina waited for his explanation. Why was it that he felt the nerve to follow her home? What was he wanting her to say? What on Earth could he possibly want from her now?

He didn't seem to have much of an explanation for her now, though. In fact, this was one of the first times that Davina had ever witnessed the Original at a loss for words altogether. For a moment she thought that his frustration had gotten the better of him and he was turning to leave, but as she watched his fingers weaving through his hair and pulling at it in anger before turning back to her just as quickly, she knew that that wasn't about to happen anytime soon.

Her angry brown eyes were still on him as he invaded her personal space as much as he had when she had first opened her door for him; the tri-breed releasing an aggravated breath as he started listing off all the things that he wanted - none of them seeming to apply to her, nor to their situation.

As he continued on about how none of it mattered, Davina couldn't help but to shake her head, refusing to hear anything he was trying to say to her. "You had me! Months ago when I was bearing my heart and soul to you and you turned me down! Or the last few months that I've spent every single night of in bed with you! Why did you have to go and ruin that?!"

She wanted to press her palms against his chest as he stepped closer to her - just enough to push him away - but she didn't. Maybe she was too angry to... maybe she was too exhausted from all the fighting or maybe she just wasn't that cruel a person. She refused to give it too much thought.

"You made me push those feelings away; that's what you wanted! Now you expect me to believe that you've had some grand epiphany?! I accepted what we were! I accepted the fact that we would never live happily ever after and that you would never open up enough to ever let someone care about you! Now you want me to shatter all of that because you decided you wanted something else!?"

She was raising her voice now, that much she knew for certain. Luckily enough for Davina, she didn't have any neighbours to worry about so she hardly gave a damn about controlling the volume nor the intensity of her voice. Not now.

--------------------

they think i'm insane; my lover is strange
CAN'T GET ALONG WITH ANYONE; CAN'T MAKE THIS RIGHT.
PMEmailWebsiteAIM
^
KOL MIKAELSON
 Posted: Jul 2 2016, 08:44 PM
Quote
VAMPIRE
Nineteen
Unemployed
Kol is Offline














If there was ever a time that Kol wished he was a witch again, it would be now. He would find a way to turn back time, and fix the mistake he had done months ago when he told her that he didn’t love her. Because now that he was trying to be open and honest with his love for her, and she didn’t want to hear it.

She had a right , he knew to not want to see him right then , or hear what he had to say. He had hurt her far too much, and for all that he knew , she would decide after this that she would never want to see him ever again. But he couldn’t just walk away from this, or from her. It took him a while to get to the point where he could show how he felt for her and just what it meant, and he had to go all out, or he would lose everything.

So she said that he couldn’t open himself up to her, that he couldn’t let anyone in, then he would. He would take everything he had been holding inside of him and release it, for her and only her. The vampire opened his mouth to do just that, Only once again to find himself speechless and frustrated with himself. He had never been open with anyone in his life, for the simple fact that there was no one that he could be. But if he couldn’t now, then he would lose the only person that he wanted to be open with… that he wanted to love him.

”You want me honest, well here it is. Months ago when you told me that you loved me, you managed to do something that no one has done in centuries. You terrified me. “ He looked away from her as he admitted the weakness that he had when it came to emotions, it was too much for him to look at her right then when it was just barely starting this. ” And you terrified me, because you loved me. Who am I that you could possibly love me, Davina? You walk the streets of this city and ask people what they think of me, And I promise the only good opinion of me would come from you. “

Kol’s eyes went back into starring down into hers, shifting closer once more as subtly as he could. ”And I don’t care. I have never cared what they think of me, or if they hate me, but you? If you hated me…I would… I don’t know really, I probably would be destroyed, which would destroy the world. “ He shrugged slightly, knowing full well what happened to him when he wasn’t in the greatest mental state.

”I’ve heard before, in fairytales and storybooks, that love is different though, that they see the true you. But look at my family. Aren’t they supposed to love me? But each and every one of them has taken a turn stabbing me with that damn dagger and locking me in the fucking box again. Hell, Elijah once held me while Klaus dug the dagger in me, and Rebekah stood and watched with a smile. And you know why? Because I had taken something from Klaus’s room he thought I was going to use against him. But instead of listening to me, they just shut me up that way? “

”And this is so hard for me to say, because fucking everyone hates me, even my god damn family. Every stab, every coffin , every neck break, it’s all just another way to say that I shouldn’t be loved. So I stopped wanting it. And then, you come along, and all I want is for you to see me, to be with me, and I find myself lying constantly saying that I couldn’t love someone, it’s not who I was. Only to lay awake smiling because I was thinking of you. You are different from everyone in this world, you don’t look at me and see what they all do , and god damn it , it’s scary. Because what if you wake up one day looking at me and it changes, if I do something…and… I’m not…who you want to love? “

The Original decided to take a chance and move his hands till they were cupping her cheeks while he gazed down at her intensely. ”But It stayed on my mind, and turned inside of me until I realized that… I couldn’t just not tell you. I couldn’t let that fear keep me from you. And even if one day…even if one day I do something… 10 minutes or 10 thousand years of loving you, both would be worth it. “

Kol just wanted to kiss her in that moment, hard and fast, to end this session of opening his heart up. He wanted to just quit this and both of them say they loved each other and they wouldn’t ever have to do this again. But that wouldn’t solve anything and there was a chance that she would just be even more upset at him due to it. ”You want me open to you, to let you in Davina. It’s hard for me. To let anyone in at all ever. But for you? For you I’ll be an open book…because I love you Davina Claire. “



--------------------
ARE YOU INSANE LIKE ME? BEEN IN PAIN LIKE ME?


Are you deranged like me? Are you strange like me? Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me? Pointing fingers cause you'll never take the blame like me?
PMAIM
^
DAVINA CLAIRE
 Posted: Jul 7 2016, 06:08 PM
Quote
TRI-BREED
SIXTEEN
WITCH REGENT
DAVINA is Offline












As much as Davina wanted to listen and believe everything that Kol was saying to her, there was a part of her that failed to trust him despite her wanting to do just that. What girl didn't want to trust the person they loved as if they would never find a way to hurt her? He had done just that time and time again, though; Kol always managed to find a way to hurt her feelings, break her heart or make her feel used because using her had been the entire point of weaseling his way into her life in the beginning.

Had something come of that that he hadn't been expecting? Probably. Davina very much doubted that his calculating flirtations were ever meant to go beyond charming her into helping him with whatever plan he had been trying to cook up, but they had.

Most days it felt as though there was no going back. Maybe what they had needed to burn itself out before either of them could move on... Other days, it felt like maybe things were exactly where they were meant to be. Like fate and driven them both so far off course to find each other that to walk away would be to spit on the work that had gone into ensuring they found each other.

That terrified her as much as he was claiming it terrified him, so Davina was able to find some equal ground there. She was able to trust him there much as she was able to trust that there were moments he was petrified that she would see him as all the negative things others had viewed him as... because there were days when she begged whatever God would listen that he didn't see her as the things the local witches, vampires and werewolves often saw her as.

"Families are always screwed up, Kol! There's no fairytale about people living happily ever after with their families because they escaped their horrible step-mothers and made new families with Prince Charming!" Kol's family certainly took the cake when it came to most dysfunctional, but there wasn't a family on Earth that could claim perfection.

Even Davina had found struggles with her own despite never actually ever having a real family. "I was adopted by someone who wanted to use me for my power; he kept everything from me my whole life! He knew who my real parents were and he chose not to tell me and my real parents? Two teenagers that banged one night when they were drunk; they hate each other but put up with each other for my sake." Much like the Mikaelson family continued to put up with each other for the sake of those who truly wanted to continue to try to be a proper family.

Yet as horrible as family could sometimes be, you couldn't let them define you with whatever negativity they were refusing to let go of.

"You were the one I wanted to love, though! You knew that I had feelings for you - that I had fallen in love with you - and you still turned me down! Regardless of the fact that you tried to use me, regardless of the fact that you manipulated me to get what you wanted... I still loved you. So don't feed me some story about being terrified of screwing things up and losing that love because you had it and you didn't want it!" That had easily been the most frustrating part of it all. To hear that someone pulled away and denied love because they were scared of losing it. Didn't that defeat the whole purpose? Didn't that ensure that you lost it one way or another?

Davina wasn't at all oblivious to the fact that Kol's hands were now cupping her face, and while part of the tri-breed wanted to do nothing more than pull away from his touch, she didn't. She couldn't explain why that flight response had disabled itself, but there she was leaning into his touch just as much as she always had before he said those three little words that night.

As much as she wanted to be stronger than Kol was in his small moment of weakness, it was impossible. She could feel tears freely rolling down her cheeks and knew they were partially from a broken heart and partially from the joy she felt in knowing he did love her just as much as she had once told him she loved him.

"I'm trying to hate you..." But that, too, was impossible.

--------------------

they think i'm insane; my lover is strange
CAN'T GET ALONG WITH ANYONE; CAN'T MAKE THIS RIGHT.
PMEmailWebsiteAIM
^
KOL MIKAELSON
 Posted: Sep 19 2016, 05:36 PM
Quote
VAMPIRE
Nineteen
Unemployed
Kol is Offline














Kol listened to Davina’s words, hanging on each and every one of them that she said. He recognized that this would be the most important conversation he ever had in his long life. This conversation very much could make or break the rest of his existence. If at the end of this, she didn’t push him away, if she loved him, or even gave the chance of loving him again, then maybe the rest of forever would be worth living. And if the end she decided , she wouldn’t be able to love him, that she couldn’t…then he was sure that the rest of time was going to destroy him.

He kept his hands cupping her face as they were, wanting any contact he could…wanting just to feel her. Even though it had been a short time since the last time they touched, that time on better terms and happier smiles, it felt to him like it had been a thousand years.

Stabbing himself with the daggers would hurt less than his chest did right now, and he finally had just an inkling at the pain he put Davina through when she told him the same. He hated himself right then. A creature who had learned not to care who hated him, now was disgusted with himself. He would rip apart anyone who hurt her, piece by piece, without regret, and it was exactly what he wanted to do right now.

And when her tears started to fall down her cheeks , he thought that ripping himself apart was too damn good for him. ” Oh, love. Don’t cry.” His thumbs wiping away the tears that were escaping her eyes, while his hands stayed on her face. ” I don’t want to make you cry. I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I’m so tired of hurting you, of hurting the person I love. I want to make you laugh and smile, to even scold me because I am rude to some other person.” he tried to give her a little smile at the joke but it fell short of a real one. Too much was at stake here.

The Mikaelson pressed his forehead down gently against hers, closing his eyes for a few moments. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, to hold her against him and make all this between them go away and be back to that closeness. Even her words about trying to hate him, didn’t make the want leave. But he didn’t want to push her from him, didn’t want to push hard and lose all contact with her at all.

”Don’t hate me then. I’ll do anything for you Davina. I’ll give you anything you need. “ He moved one hand away from her face to grab her hand and bring it up to his chest, over where his heart would beat. ”This is yours. This heart that lies in my chest, it’s yours, given freely without anything in return. You can do what you want with it. Keep it, hold it, know that there won’t be a day that passes that it’s not filled with love, only for you. Or if you decide you don’t want it… if you decide that this isn’t what you want, that I’m not what you want to love anymore, I’ll give you the stake to get rid of it”

Kol’s eyes opened to look down into hers “You once gave me a choice, and I was a moronic, asshole, fool who threw it away. Who hurt you and badly.” His hand tighten briefly over her hand on his chest before continuing. ”So now, I’m giving you the same. I love you Davina Claire, I’m sorry that it took me so long to say the words. I’m sorry that I hurt you so much in the process. And if you don’t think you ever could love me again, if you can’t love me again. You can shove me away, you can choose what happens. But if you love me…if you could love me again, if there is even a hope of it…keep me. Keep me, love me, and let me prove to you every damn day, why it was a good choice. To prove every moment that I love you, and mean it.”

He was trying hard not to stumble over these words that were so hard to say. He was more open and vulnerable in these few moment then he had ever been in his life. He could even feel the threaten of his own tears springing in his eyes from just how big this meant for him, but he tried to hold them back for her. He just needed to hear…needed to hear her.




--------------------
ARE YOU INSANE LIKE ME? BEEN IN PAIN LIKE ME?


Are you deranged like me? Are you strange like me? Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me? Pointing fingers cause you'll never take the blame like me?
PMAIM
^
DAVINA CLAIRE
 Posted: Dec 10 2016, 01:52 PM
Quote
TRI-BREED
SIXTEEN
WITCH REGENT
DAVINA is Offline












Davina had known for a very, very long time that she had fallen in love with Kol Mikaelson against all odds and any reason. He was the least likely candidate when it came to who would hold Davina's heart, especially given the fact that she had already given it to someone before she had even met Kol; Ben had been a different love - a different romance - but one that she still held close. There was no letting go and forgetting love, regardless of how it started or how it ended and that love was no different.

Yet Davina knew that she couldn't be true to herself or to Ben by harbouring feelings for someone else. To swear she only thought of and only loved Ben when her heart was wanting to give itself to someone else. She had absolutely no idea whether or not anything would come of her romance with Kol - the same could be said about Ben - and she had absolutely no idea what the future had in store for her love life, but she had known she needed to be faithful to herself and explore whatever feelings fate had decided to throw her way; she refused to live her life with regrets.

Despite the number of times that night that she had told Kol she no longer had feelings for him, she knew that was nothing more than a lie concocted to hurt him as much as she was hurting right now. She had already been rejected by the Original vampire which had her feeling as though she was nothing more than a convenience. Kol was trying to retract and negate that by confessing that all this time, he had had feelings for her and that he continued to have feelings for her; feelings he was now wanting to explore more honestly. It was terrifying, in some senses, to think that something between she and Kol could potentially be real; how long would it take him to spook after she gave him her heart once again?

On the other hand, if she wasn't wanting to live her life with regrets, she needed to either cut things off once and for all - if that was what she was truly, without a doubt wanting - or she needed to tell him that she still loved him and that she was willing to at least try and work things out once and for all.

His fingers were wiping away any trace of tears that tried to fall down her cheeks; his hands refusing to stop cupping her face as if that contact was the one last thing keeping the two together. She wouldn't lie: she appreciated the contact. His hands cooled her face through her anger and his touch always had her thinking more clearly, even if only marginally.

His forehead was against hers in the next moment and Davina couldn't help but to let out the softest sigh of defeat. Defeat, because she knew there was no use in fighting this anymore. There was no pushing her feelings aside - potentially for the rest of her life - and there was no way she was going to let go of something most people never got to experience at all in their lifetime.

"I don't... I don't hate you." Even though she wanted to and even though she knew she should, she didn't. She couldn't. Especially standing there with Kol holding her hand over his chest, above his heart, telling her that it was hers and only hers. That had been one of the things that she had been waiting so damn long to hear... How could she turn away from that now? "I haven't stopped loving you; I wanted to. I should have... but it's never that easy."

And it never would be.

Folding herself into his arms - her face pressed against the front of his shoulder - Davina shook her head gently, slightly in disbelief that this was happening and slightly in disbelief that she had caved so damn easily when it came to him. That would prove to be dangerous, she knew, but didn't real love do that to you? Didn't it make you choose to live dangerously if that meant being with the one person you loved more than anything?

"There will have to be boundaries... Even if only for a little while." Her words were somewhat mumbled into his chest; her tears staining his shirt. "We have to take this slow, to start with..." Because the last thing that Davina wanted was to rush things and screw everything up before either had the chance to embrace and enjoy it.

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they think i'm insane; my lover is strange
CAN'T GET ALONG WITH ANYONE; CAN'T MAKE THIS RIGHT.
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KOL MIKAELSON
 Posted: Dec 24 2016, 10:45 PM
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VAMPIRE
Nineteen
Unemployed
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Kol had been a vampire now for a very long time, a thousand or so years to be in fact. It was something that he was not happy about, though very little people knew that. He had always loved being human…loved being a witch when he was younger. The magic had called to him , embraced him with loving arms, making me feel special…wanted. It was his connection to the world and it’s people and he craved every moment he had of it.

Vampires do not have that connection to magic. The very creation of them into the creatures of the night when against the nature of magic. Kol had lost the one thing that made him feel alive, when he was forced to be a creature of the dead . He never even got a choice in the matter, his parents had been so obsessed with the elder children’s safety, his wants wasn’t even considered.

He didn’t understand how his siblings could stand it. They all acted like nothing had happened. Like a part of them hadn’t been ripped away without their consent that they could never , ever get back. Everything about it made him so angry and it was like…there was nothing in the world worth living for.

But standing there, in front of Davina with her telling him that she still loved him, made him feel like magic did once upon a time. She gave him the feeling that he wasn’t lost in this world, and kept him grounded. And as his arms wrapped around her body when she pressed against him, he knew that he would never allow anyone to take her away like they had done his magic. He would fight to the end of the earth if he had to.

His face pressed against the top of her head as she held on to him with her own face buried in his chest. Kol’s hands held on to her as if they removed that she would disappear from him. If his heart could beat any longer he knew that it would be skyrocketing out of his chest at the happiness that now filled him.

Davina still loved him, she had never stopped. And now they both were on the same playing field. It was exciting and terrifying all at once. This was all new to them both to be on this level, something that they hadn’t experienced. He wanted it badly so or he wouldn’t have fought for it as hard as he did. But that didn’t mean that it didn’t terrify him to know that he could mess this up if he let himself slip back to the creature he had been before Davina.

The Original vampire lifted his head to look down at the top of Davina’s head as she spoke into his chest, a frown instantly gracing his face. Anyone who knew Kol , knew that he didn’t do boundaries, hell just look at how he acted while Davina dated someone else completely before him. His first instinct was to open his mouth and tell her very clearly that they didn’t need any boundaries at all. But instead he thought for a moment and took a deep breath before releasing it.

He knew why she was saying they needed these limitations for a little while, why slow was how they would have to go. It was new ground for them both, they had to take it steady when starting out. And he didn’t want to do anything that could risk this. Risk them.

” What are the boundaries that we are setting, my love?” His hand lifted to run through her hair while he still held her against him, his cheek moving down to rest on the top of her head once more. ”And how long should we keep those boundaries intact? “



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ARE YOU INSANE LIKE ME? BEEN IN PAIN LIKE ME?


Are you deranged like me? Are you strange like me? Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me? Pointing fingers cause you'll never take the blame like me?
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DAVINA CLAIRE
 Posted: Jan 21 2017, 08:29 PM
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TRI-BREED
SIXTEEN
WITCH REGENT
DAVINA is Offline












It was hard for Davina to comprehend how someone as old and as experienced as Kol could be so damn closed off. Really, you would think someone as new to the world as Davina would be more guarded about all of the bad and all of the hurt that could happen in the blink of an eye; she saw the evil of the world every day on the news so why wouldn't she want to protect herself from that?

Kol, too, had seen worse and had seen more evil than she had ever been exposed to in her short life, but he had surely seen just as much - if not more - good. Shouldn't that have made him want to turn the world into a better place however he could? Shouldn't he have wanted to find good for himself in a partner, a family, children... Why had he let himself stew in hatred and anger for so long, knowing what that would to do the people around him?

Davina would refuse a thousand times over to take credit for the positive change in Kol. Did she love him? Absolutely... Did he love her? He claimed to; maybe that would make him want to make more positive changes in his life. Maybe he would want to be a better person - a better man - so that he could show the younger additions to her family that there was still some good left in the world. So he could be a positive role model and a positive male figure in their life that they would look up to when things got bad or when their lives got a little too scary for their own good.

He was capable of being that man, Davina knew that much for certain. Whether or not he wanted to was completely up to him; she had learned rather quickly that she couldn't force him to be something that he didn't want to be. He had to be ready all on his own and Davina had to be willing to support him through thick and thin, which she was.

That meant that he was going to have to support her in turn, even if that meant supporting her with boundaries she felt that the two were going to need if they wanted this attempt at a true relationship to work for the better. Davina knew that Kol hated rules, laws and boundaries but that if he truly loved her as much as he was claiming he did, that he'd power through this. For her.

Her eyes were glancing up at him as he seemed to struggle to agree to the fact that they needed to set some boundaries; a small smile touching her lips as she shrugged her shoulders gently. "I don't know, I haven't really given it extensive thought..." Or any thought, really. She hadn't exactly been expecting Kol to confess his undying love for her in this lifetime, after all.

"Obviously I'm not going to take sex off the table..." Because that was something that Kol would truly lose his mind over and that wasn't a fight that Davina had the energy to be battling through. "But... Maybe we have one date night every week that isn't just about sex... You know... You could actually take me out somewhere nice. Hold my hand... Act like you aren't ashamed to be with me..." Which had clearly been too much for him to handle the first time around...

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they think i'm insane; my lover is strange
CAN'T GET ALONG WITH ANYONE; CAN'T MAKE THIS RIGHT.
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