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00/00 Both figuratively and literally, it is a task to occupy the generations. And no matter how much progress one makes, there is always the thrill of just beginning. We are all connected; To each other, biologically. To the earth, chemically. To the rest of the universe atomically.
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[OS] Cardiac Arrest
PERMALINK // POSTED ON: Jan 29 2014, 11:31 PM
Alex never was an adventurous person. After all, he spent almost a year and a half locked inside his room away from the world. He was a nervous, geek of a kid that spent way too much time trying to find the right words to say to people. People forgot about him all the time, no one asked how he’s doing, most people were just happy to put him on a back burner. He didn’t mind so much to be honest, it wasn’t anything new to him.
He was used to most people seeing him and asking how his sister was doing. Or talk to him about his sister and her life and such. Which in Alex’s opinion wasn’t any of their business, it was her life not theirs. And Alex could never and would never blame his sister for them asking about her and not him. He was just someone that, well wasn’t ask worthy. Even his father didn’t really ask about him. He didn’t know about what Alex did, or the fact that Alex was in MMA or that he did good in it. Or the fact he had feelings for a girl, that he had been on dates with this girl, or kissed her. Sometimes he wondered if he know how old he was. He wondered if it was just because Alex’s life was boring and tame compared to Addie. He also sometimes thought that it was forgotten that Alex himself had been put through hardships. But he was okay with it. He was used to it.
He was an honest person, he knew his limits, his expectations. He knew what he was, who he was, and such. He knew that he didn’t really have any special skills or anything. He wasn’t insanely smart, just a kid who liked to read and learn facts. He did MMA, but lots of people did that. He wasn’t anything special, just some kid that was alone most of the time. He didn’t ever feel like he was special. Well that’s not always true. There was two things that made him feel special.
The first was Sophia. Of course it was stupid that he felt that way, he had no idea how she felt about him. But whenever they were together, he always felt better. His heart was lighter, his mind clear, and he felt happier than he did in a long time. He cared about her, he cared about her in a way that was more than just friends. But he had no clue on how she felt about him. They hung out, they went out on dates (well he thought of them as dates), and she was his best friend. And sometimes, it felt like his only friend. And it was because of that, he didn’t push, he wouldn’t push her to tell him what they were. Because if she didn’t feel anything for him, well then he would rather be her friend, then not have her at all.
The second of the two was his job. Working as a Private Investigator made him feel, unique, different, and well…special. He didn’t talk about it a lot, about what he did, because he almost liked that it was just his. He liked that he didn’t have to show or tell anyone else about it. It was odd that a kid like him would become a PI. At first it was just an excuse to get closer to his father, but that plan seemed to fail. But then he had gotten his first real case, where he tracked down some missing property for a young woman. It had been easy work, just tracking the serial numbers and working backwards from there. But when he was able to tell the woman she had found it, and was received a hug in return, he could feel this spot in him start to fill. A sense of, well pride, and purpose.
After that he started to take cases more frequently. And with each case they became deeper, more elaborate and while he wouldn’t tell his sister, father, or friends, they became more dangerous. He started working on cases that involved kidnappings. He had to go to Rome for a few days in order to finish it, which lead to the return of a little girl to her crying mother. He was still waiting payment for that job, but he had told the woman to wait till she was able to live comfortably with her daughter before even worrying about his payment. He may never get the money, but he would rather a woman and her kid have a nice place to live happily, then get some cash he didn’t really need.
When he had come home from Rome, he was beyond happy. His smiles were brighter than usual, his laugh pure, and the demons that chased his mind stopped for a few hours. And he had to admit, to know Sophia missed him, well it made him feel something in him that he didn’t know the name for.
So he started working more cases like that, where he was doing more than just looking for cheating husbands or credit card thieves. He worked on finding people, reuniting families, he guessed in some subconscious way, it was him hoping his family would be brought back together once again.
And on this rainy winter night in the back streets of the city, Alex was looking for a teenage girl of 16 named Maria. Her father was a single parent who had lost his wife 5 years ago. Maria wasn’t the best of girls when it came to behavior. Losing her mother made her turn to bad people. She started in on drugs, she constantly was caught doing juvenile crimes, and she got kicked out of school. But never had she ran away from home. Her father said she never said anything about leaving. So why was it she was missing for 6 days now? Alex knew the police were looking, but with cases like hers they went more towards the runaway route. But Alex wasn’t sure that was the case here.
So he had talked to people, found contacts of hers and went from there, until he was able to find out the name of her dealer. Now Alex wasn’t stupid, he knew he had no authority, no way of taking people down. But if he found them, if he could prove that Maria was there with them, he could go to the police and then they would have solid evidence of it.
So when he found the warehouse where most of the contacts said the dealer and his crew did their work he was careful. He was dressed like any other kid walking around at 1 am at night, he was practically invisible to the world. He kept his eyes on the building as he walked on the sidewalk by it. He couldn’t see anything, and if he wanted to get anywhere he would have to have proof of it.
This was another reason he didn’t really like to talk about the specifics of his work. He knew that a lot of them would claim that he was just some stupid kid trying to be a hero. That wasn’t true, at least in Alex’s mind. He wasn’t trying to be a hero, in fact on most days he didn’t think that highly of himself. It was known that he didn’t have a very good self-image of himself, he wouldn’t ever think he was a hero. He was just someone who was trying to help someone who needed it. Trying to be useful, to have a purpose, not a hero.
He kept his head down, the rain hitting the back of his head hard but he didn’t mind it. He never minded the rain anyways, it helped him think, to clear his head in good ways. He pressed himself against the building as he moved into the alley way by it. He looked in the dark alley for any sign of windows, or doors that he could look into. He stepped further in, till he saw a window on the second story. He looked around for a way to get up there, until he spotted the dumpster.
Climbing up on top of the dumpster he had to grasp at the brick wall in order for his feet not to slip on the wet plastic of the lid. He looked up, before reaching his long arms up to grip the ledge of the window. He was never so glad that he was in MMA then at the moment. If he wasn’t, if he didn’t train almost every day doing a pull up would be hard on him.
He pulled himself till he could see into the building, his breath catching in his throat at what he saw. Maria was there being forced to sit in a dark corner, the men in the room laughing around money and drugs, sometimes looking over at her with disgusting manner. He could see the look of fear and sadness in the girl’s eyes and felt something tighten in his stomach.
Bracing himself so his arm was wedged between the two sides of the brick lining of window. He reached one arm down to pull his phone out. He was careful to make sure the pictures were clear that the girl was Maria, and then of the others in the warehouse with her. He was in the middle of the last picture when he was grasped around the ankle and pulled.
His arm, still stuck between the two brick linings was tugged painfully out of place causing his whole body to fall, he landed on his back on top of the trash bin, his head banging loudly against the metal side of it. He was dazed, his vision was blurred into two when he felt himself being pulled down to the ground his body hitting painfully on the concrete. The breath came out of him as if someone punched him in the stomach. He looked to see a large man still holding his leg glaring down at him with an intense look on his face.
Alex reacted on pure instinct his other leg coming around to sweep the guy’s feet causing the man to tumble to the ground. Alex kicked at him once to get his leg loose before turning around on his stomach and pushing up to run. He almost got to the end of the alley way before he heard the shots.
It was the funny thing about being shot, you don’t feel the pain as the bullet rips through you, it’s only after when you look down to your chest to see the blood forming on your clothes that the pain really hits you. Alex was in shock as he looked down to see the blood starting to seep out of his chest, the blood slowly spilling out onto his clothes. And then the second shot hit him, and he was falling down. First to his knees and then till he laid face first on the wet pavement, his phone spilling out onto the concrete.
He couldn’t breathe, he could move, his whole body was filled with a bright was of pain. He laid there his face against the concrete until the man came to roll him over. His grin was something evil, a darkness that reminded Alex of times with demon dogs and innocent deaths. He imagined that this face was the one that the demons wore. And as he looked into that face, he felt the third and last bullet penetrate his stomach.
Alex knew it wouldn’t be long now till he was dead, the odds, even for a hybrid, of surviving 3 gunshot wounds would be almost zero. And as he watched the man walk away from his, his head becoming dizzy and empty with each passing moment, he remembered his phone. Reaching out the rest of his strength he tried to reach the phone that laid just a short distance away from him. Because even if he died, they could find the girl if he was able to call emergency.
But it was useless his fingers were just centimeters away, so close yet so incredibly far. He arm going limp as the rest of his strength left. He was cold, the rain hitting his body without remorse. If he wasn’t so tired he was sure that his body would be shaking and shivering. But he just didn’t have the strength for even that.
This was what his end would be, his death. In a dark alley in the cold and rain. Fitting for him really. He loved the rain, and he was in a place almost as forgettable as he was. He guessed if he was going to die, he was glad he was killed trying to save someone.
Yet he still felt this panicky feeling in his chest when he thought about all the things he hadn’t done. He never had a girlfriend, never had sex, never had his own family, or house. He never explored the world on his own, or been wild and crazy for just a while.
And then he started to cry for all the things he would never do again. He would never see his dad again. He would never yell at Jackson again for hiding condoms in his things. He would never hold Sophia’s hand again, or take her out, or kiss her. He would never get to tell her his true feelings. He would never see Addie again, or hug her, or hold her. He would never get to be with her again.
Alex closed his eyes as he thought about Sophia. He hoped she found someone that made her as special as she made him feel. She deserved so much more then what she was given. He honestly thought that if there was anyone other than his sister in the world he could love it was her. It didn’t matter if she felt that way towards him or not. Whether they were just friends or more. So long as she was happy, he would be happy. Or he would have been if he would of lived longer.
He was glad he was the one that was dying. It could have been so easy for it to be his sister, his beloved Addie. She didn’t deserve to die on the cold hard pavement. She didn’t deserve the rain to wash and mix with her tears. She could have been doing what he was, so he was happy that instead he took that. Because she didn’t deserve this, she deserved so much more.
She was his world , the person he fought for, that he protected, that he kept in his heart. And though it caused pain to spread throughout his body, he didn’t try and choke back his sobs. He would never in this world see his little sister again. He hoped she would be happy, she had too much sadness already, he would take it all away if he could. Maybe Jackson could make her happy, she deserved someone like that. Someone that would lover her and care, even if he hid it behind a mask.
He would miss her the most, his little sister. He wished he could see her again, one last time before he died. Wish he could hear her laughter in the air, her smile. He wished that she would make fun of him one last time, because unlike when other people did it, it didn’t hurt him. He wished she would come and steal all his sweaters again, because he liked knowing they made her warm. He wished that she was there to hold him while he died. But that was just a wish of a dying man. Useless, and unrealistic.
And as the world started to fade around him and the darkness start enclose around him, he wondered if this was the last time he would close his eyes. Before he didn’t think anything at all.
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